I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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