you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
