Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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