I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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