Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize