Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
