did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dick very happy bro
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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