I didn't shave. On purpose
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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