Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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