Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
