i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize