so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
