in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
