We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
