Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
