he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
