What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
