Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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