Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize