The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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