The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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