goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
