I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
