would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
