I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
