So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
