I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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