i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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