When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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