you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
