6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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