im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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