so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
