I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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