i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
