oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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