dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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