its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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