Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
