So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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