just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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