He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
