i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
