Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
the raccoons are back...
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