I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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