Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We got so high we made milksteak
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
