i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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