mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize