please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize