some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
