i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
