This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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