That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize