i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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