And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
